im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize