did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
