so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
