i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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