Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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