My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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