I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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