Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
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Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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