i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
