haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
