a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
