where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize