This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
