we have officially lost it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
