i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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