i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
