...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
