Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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