I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
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okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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