Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
