I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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