Where did you get a picture of my penis
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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