Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
