i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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