his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
