Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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