I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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