Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
