you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
