She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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