I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
