Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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