"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
