with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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