I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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