I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
