yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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