Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
