Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
