:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
