I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
