Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
