so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it because I queefed?
the day after is always just damage control
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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