You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
