just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
