He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
