She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
