Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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