a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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