Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize