BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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