I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
