it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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