I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
