Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
there is glitter all over my balls
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
