Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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