I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
