Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
