just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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