Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
smell my finger.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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