Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
